What a relief to know that after the last three years of not teaching, I could prepare a talk and not shake upon delivering it, that I could be deliver something useful and inspiring, that I could settle in and be personable and speak off the cuff while sticking to the presentation….The best part was finishing, and, having gained some of their trust, to ask if they had any questions, that I wanted to know what they were working on. And – everyone was so kind and open. And it turns out that perhaps that is where I am at my best, engaging with people and offering whatever insight I might have and hearing them. It was so nice.
I am so glad I prepared as much as I did—that was so meaningful to feeling OK. But, what a pleasure, to share the little I know and have done with folks who may have gleaned something from it. It was so different than teaching a college class where there is some kind of expectation, like, Why did I get that grade on my essay? It wasn’t always like that, teaching college, but there was definitely a different vibe today, and I liked it, and I thrived. I’m not saying I was amazing, but the response was good, encouraging, that I was doing something meaningful.
I was talking with Derek tonight about how really nice it is to have gotten to this stage in life-having raised two boys (still raising them, but launching them), having kept our marriage intact, having gone to our day jobs to keep everything afloat—paying our mortgage and bills, having health insurance—and showing our kids, also, that a creative life is paramount.
I feel so damned lucky. My God I feel lucky. Derek, holy moly. We did it.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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