This should not be a big deal, right? I have something to offer. People are generous and will not throw old, over-ripe tomatoes at me, right? I have been preparing for an hour-long talk for weeks. And I'm still not ready. All week, I've been having intense nightmares. I wrote about the BEAR nightmare yesterday. Well, last night's dream was worse: my father died, again, and I, again, didn't get to say goodbye to him; then tornadoes swooped in and I had to run for shelter in a library; and while doing that, I lost my dog, Margo, whom I love more than almost every other mammal on the planet. I woke up pretty shaken. And then Derek said to me: Ah, you just worried about the session you're teaching on Saturday!
And I realized he was probably right.
Anyway, I continue to put myself out there when people invite me. Not to shine or share my glory, but to be helpful, if possible, after learning so much myself through trial and error. Anyway. It's 60 minutes of my life. I'll report back.
Bye.
Wish me luck.
It's got to be easier than losing a beloved parent or escaping a tornado or losing your precious pet. Everything is fine. As a friend put it: YOU WERE BORN FOR THIS.
Trying to believe her.
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